Why Teens Are Struggling to Disconnect
Screen time amongst teens is increasing due to hours spent on social media apps such as TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat. While social media can have many benefits, such as staying connected with friends and family, developing new friendships, and accessibility to research and new information, it also has drastic downsides. Social media can lead to bullying, decreased self-esteem, oversharing, and exposure to risky people and situations. However, even with all the risks social media presents, teenagers have difficulty disconnecting. So why is this, and what can parents do to help?
Instant Gratification
Teenagers have a difficult time disconnecting from social media because they are accustomed to the instant gratification that comes from online communities. Everything online happens fast. Whether they are messaging back and forth with a classmate or seeing the likes come in on an unrealistically filtered selfie, everything is instant on social media. Teens enjoy seeing the likes, comments, and messages they receive after posting, providing them with a dopamine hit that makes them feel an immediate sense of self-worth and validation. Teens also often see that social media influencers appear to become overnight successes with one video, without considering the number of posts they created with minimal engagement before the success. Teens strive to become the next big star on social media and have unrealistic expectations of this happening because of how instant the success of others appears.
Fear of Missing Out
Another reason teens need help disconnecting from social media is that they fear missing out on what their peers are doing. The constant feeling of being connected that social media has created within its users has led teens to check their phones for notifications and alerts frequently. Teens are so plugged in with social media and not wanting to miss out on what’s happening online that some even report experiencing Phantom Vibration Syndrome, which occurs when the brain believes their phone is vibrating when it’s not because of how often they are using their phone. Social media allows teens to see what is going on in the lives of others, even though many are just posting the highlights of their lives. This leads teens to feel they are missing out on parties or other social events that they see their peers posting about online. This fear of missing out causes teens to feel anxiety and stress, causing them to stay even more plugged into their phones and can lead to teens oversharing on social media in hopes of making up for the negative feelings they developed from other posts.
Lack of In-Person Interaction
Because social media is the main form of communication between teens, they struggle to disconnect from their phones, even when face-to-face with people. When teens are in groups in person, they still spend most of their time on their cell phones and looking at social media. Teens may also feel more confident in an online setting behind their screen than when interacting with someone in person, so they begin to lack the social engagement teens used to have in person. Even if a teen wanted to have time face-to-face with a peer, the peer would likely be scrolling social media while they are together, creating a lack of social interaction and another reason for the teen to stay connected with their phone. Teens may feel that social media is the only way to maintain their communication with friends, and if they are not connected, their relationships will dwindle.
How to Help
Teens struggling to disconnect from social media can quickly become a social media addiction. If helping your teen disconnect from their phone is beyond the point where you can help, consider a treatment center for teens. While teens may be resistant, parents need to be proactive in setting clear boundaries regarding social media usage with their teens. Set up times to have family engagement when cell phones are off limits. Encourage your teen to participate in social activities that encourage face-to-face communication, such as sports or volunteering. Model appropriate social media usage for your teen by making a point to disconnect from your phone and get outside or read a book without checking your phone.